Losing and finding yourself through motherhood. It’s a daily toss up, right?

You’ve heard the phrase “I found myself when I became a mother” numerous times, surely? Whether it be that stand out, bolded quote in an article you’re reading, a post on Instagram from an ‘unmumsy’ mum or simply through chitter chatter over cold coffee and chaotic kids?
Well its true, many women do find their ‘new and true self’ when becoming a mother. However, many also feel like their ‘old and preferred self’ has just been put down a waste disposal sink and is now half way across the Atlantic Ocean. Goodbye!
What if I told you that its completely normal to feel both of the above, swap and change between the two mindsets more frequently than you kiss your partner. Ok, that’s maybe not a reliable measurement tool, that’s also open to many a variable.
I for one have always longed and dreamt of becoming a mother, so when I was blessed with my daughter Frida it was only a matter of time before I started spouting how I’d now found myself?
I wouldn’t say I’d found ones self, I’d say I’d found a new self. One that loved, was obsessed even with this new and forever change in my life. But also confused at why I wasn’t 100% content with my updated life resume. Had I been wrong all of this time and maybe motherhood wasn’t my soul calling? Or was I being super ungrateful and just wanting to flitter between the old and the new?
How about neither! Why is it that as women and mothers we feel it has to be one way or the other? Let’s have our cake and eat it too, how about that?
Embrace the change that comes with becoming a mother but also don’t forget that person you were before. You wouldn’t be where you are today without that person so don’t leave them behind. Morph into someone that makes you happy, try not to pile the pressure on. Heavy armor is very difficult to get off and crack and let me tell you, a toddler smashing on that rigid facade isn’t good for anyone.
Ellis is A PR and Comms girl turned pre and postnatal Pilates and Barre instructor, Doula and all- round positive birth advocate. She is a British expat who’s been desert bound for 7 years and counting. They say nobody finds love in Dubai, but she certainly did. Now married to her best friend Mr H, they have the most fun loving, larger than life, chocolate button eyed little girl, Frida and their darling mini man, Heston who joined them in July this year.
Ellis along with Maryanne is behind @wearemothertongue, the world’s new set of eyes, ears and finger on the pulse for all expats living away from home across the globe. They are two mums navigating parenthood as expats in Dubai, sharing (their very honest!) journey on everything they have learned along the way in an attempt to create unity between mothers who might be away from their families and friends.
It is an all-inclusive, supportive podcast – no judgement, just lots of love, laughs and honest home truths – after all, we should all be able to laugh through the madness of keeping little humans alive!
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